Below are the 15 most recent journal entries recorded in Ville Valo's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
12:46 am	Pics Okay, so, once again I'm bored...here's some pictures I have. They're of Bam. ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
Monday, August 7th, 2006
11:22 pm	Survey 1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? I have a lot of scars, most are self inflicted, but one that isn't is when I had a show and I accidentally tripped on a mic chord and fell off the stage. I cracked my head open, but you can only see the scar if I have short hair 2. WHATS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Some of my paintings, most are about death, and some drawings I made of Bam and me 3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE? It's a black Razor 4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? Dark shit like Black Sabbath, Sisters of Mercy, Type O Negative, etc. 5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? No 6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? To be everything Bam wants me to be 7. WHO DO YOU MISS? Bam 8. WHAT is/are YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION/S? My lyric book and my diary 9. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? I forget 10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? Sometimes 11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? ^^ 12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? Myself 13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME? Bone Daddy 14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? I normally go for long, black hair and blue eyes, but Bam's perfect 15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO? I've never been proposed to. I did it to Bam, so I guess it'll never happen... 16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? Both 17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? Cheese 18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Nothing, I hate food 19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD? Myself 21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU? When I was with Brian he gave me a black beanie cap. I wear it all the time still 22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY? Bam, but I don't like him, I love him 23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? Yes 24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? Anything black 25. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR? I can't drive, but I'd kind of like a Hummer 26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? Only Bam 27. WHAT KIND IS IT? It's a Bam Bam 28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? Yes 29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? I still don't know how 30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 13 31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? Brunettes 32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN? Bam's 33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? 99% of the human race 34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA? Yes, I'm from Finland 35. YOUR WEAKNESS? Bam's smile 37. FIRST JOB? A music store 38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? Yes 40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE? I used to want it, but Bam thinks I'm perfect 41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY? Bam's out skating and I'm bored. Plus, I just bought the Spongebob game and I'm getting ready to play it 42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? Everything (and I don't say that to brag. I hate it) 43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL? Get arrested 44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? I've never gotten anything for my birthday 45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? I'm pregnant now, so apparently one 46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? I doubt it 47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Secretly 48. WHAT DID YOU DO THIS MORNING? Laid on the couch and drew a picture of Bam 49. WHAT DID YOU LAST EAT? I ate some Ramen for Bam 50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Sure 51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? I don't eat meat 52. ANY BAD HABITS? Too many to count 53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MUSIC? I'm not embarrassed about my music 54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? No 55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL? No 56. DO LOOKS MATTER? Apparently, since that's all people want me for 57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? I hold it in, or do something else I'd rather not say 58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? Anywhere with Bam 59. EVER BEEN DRUNK? Yes 60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? I never had a toy 61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? Not many 62.IF YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE RIGHT NOW WHERE WOULD YOU BE? With Bam 63. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Yes 64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT? Yes 65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? I'm not looking anymore. I have Bam 66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Willa Walo 70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Vanilla Bean 72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLOR(S)? Black, purple, and crimson 73. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW? Bam 74. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE? I don't know 75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? I want Bam to 76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? The Spongebob game 77. LAST THING YOU DRANK? Wild Cherry Pepsi 78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Bam 79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX? Eyes 80. THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG? All music provokes thoughts 81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? Everything 82. FAVORITE ALCHOHOLIC DRINK(S)? Anything alcoholic 83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN Taurus 84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT? I hate sports 85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? Black, but I might add dark maroon streaks depending on what Bam thinks 86. EYE COLOR? Green 87. HEIGHT? 6'2" 88. FAVORITE ANIMAL? Cat, Bat, Snakes 89. FAVORITE MONTH(s)? October, Decemeber 90. YOU LIKE SUSHI? Yes 91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? Spongebob movie 92. FAVORITE DAY(s) OF THE YEAR? Halloween 94. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter 95. KISSES OR HUGS Both from Bam 96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships 97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Spongebob game, new eyeliner, extra strength pain killers, sleeping pills, and a pack of Red Bull (I went shopping) 98. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? Jonne since he did it already 99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? "Frankenstein"-Mary Shelley 100. ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU? Yes, Bam Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
Friday, July 28th, 2006
3:46 pm	I can't believe I'm saying this, but...I think I have to go back to rehab. This is insane. I can't do this anymore. I need help. I don't want Bam to have to deal with me anymore, but I know he won't give up. I wish he would, though. I mean, I'm pregnant and I'm bulimic. I don't wanna be like this anymore... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 26th, 2006
2:45 pm	Okay, so I suck at updates...I've been in the hospital for a few days since my lovely ex decided to kick my ass. I also found out I'm pregnant, but I still don't know if it's okay yet. Fun fun...I swear if I didn't have Bam I might be dead right now...I kinda want to be. Current Mood: blah Current Music: "War Pigs"- Black Sabbath (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
8:08 pm	God I miss Bam...I know I haven't been paying much attention to him and I feel horrible for that. Physically he's with me, but not emotionally. I love him so much and I don't wanna fuck it up. I know I shouldn't have brought up Brian, but I thought he should know about someone who was very important to me...but I'd gladly give up my memories of Brian just so Bam knew that I truly love him... Current Mood: melancholy (Comment on this)
Monday, May 29th, 2006
2:13 am	Okay...there's a problem. I was looking through some old pictures and I found a bunch of me and Brian together...he was the only one who's never hit me or treated me like shit for the time we were together. I loved Brian so much. It broke my heart to leave him, but I had to. Now I'm remembering all the times I had with him it makes me miss him. I mean, I love Bam more than anything, but just sometimes... (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 27th, 2006
7:31 am	Bammie, I know I've put you through so much hell, but I promise I'll get better. I'll do it for you, okay? I'd do anything for you, Bam. I swear. You're my angel and I love you more than anything. If it weren't for you I wouldn't be trying to live. And I trust you with my life. I know you're not going to hurt me like the others or leave me like the others, but it'll still take some time for me to get used to that. You're my world, Bam Bam. You're the reason I write, you're the reason I draw, you're the reason I paint...and you're the reason I live. I love you so much. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006
9:27 am	Beautiful I'm really REALLY nervous right now...I don't know if Bam saw my scar or not. I have a strong feeling he did, but I'm not sure. Maybe if he saw he knows how I got it...it's pretty damn obvious when someone has a huge gash on their pelvis how they got it. Especially since Bam knows how my last boyfriends treated me, but still...I don't want him to think I'm just this hideous "thing" with a bunch of scars. I don't know what I'd do if he left me. Well...I wrote another song for him...it's something that I wanna be: "Beautiful" Just one look into your eyes One look and I'm crying 'Cause you're so beautiful Just one kiss and I'm alive One kiss and I'm ready to die 'Cause you're so beautiful Just one touch and I'm on fire One touch and I'm crying 'Cause you're so beautiful Just one smile and I'm wild One smile and I'm ready to die 'Cause you're so beautiful Oh and you're so beautiful My darling Oh you're so beautiful You're so beautiful Oh my baby You're so beautiful And you're so beautiful Oh my darling Oh my baby And you're so beautiful Current Mood: blah Current Music: "Dazed And Confused"-Led Zeppelin (Comment on this)
Monday, May 22nd, 2006
3:50 pm	For You So, here's a song I wrote for...someone...they should know who they are. "For You" In the grace of your love I writhe in pain In 666 ways I love you and I hope you feel the same I'm for you I'm for you I'm killing myself for your love and again all is lost In 777 ways I love you 'til my death do us apart I'm for you - and I'm dying for your love I'm for you - and my heaven is wherever you are I'm for you - and I'm dying for your love I'm for you - and my heaven is wherever you are In 666 ways I love you and my heaven is wherever you are I'm here for you - I am here for you I'm here for you - I am here for you I'm here for you - I am here for you I'm here for you - I am here for you Current Mood: creative Current Music: "Beth"-KISS (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 19th, 2006
3:28 pm	Uh-oh... So, I haven't talked to Bam in a few days and that's worrying me...I hope I didn't do something wrong...that's normally what I do right about now. I hope he's not mad at me...great, now I have to think about what I did... Current Mood: worried Current Music: "Goodbye To Romance"-Ozzy Osbourne (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 16th, 2006
5:33 pm	Wow... Alright...Bam wants me. It's weird as hell, but he wants me. And I want him, naturally. He stayed when I told him I was hurt, he stayed when I cried, he stayed when I said I loved him...and he stayed when I tried to push him away. No one's ever done that. He really does love me. I got my Finnish ass kicked last night by (what else?) jock assholes who think they're better because they can throw a fucking ball made of cow hide. Anyway, I didn't want to tell Bam, but he layed on my ribs, so I kinda had to. It didn't go over well and I feel sorry for the guys if Bam ever sees them. I've never had anyone stand up for me before. I sort of like it. He said that he won't let anyone hurt me again...and I believe that. Current Mood: loved Current Music: "War Pigs"-Black Sabbath (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 15th, 2006
9:17 am	A Note... Bammie, listen...there's a lot of shit you don't know about me and I'd be glad to tell you, but...I'm just scared that once you know you won't "want" me anymore. You'll just think I'm a whore like the rest of them do. And I don't think I can take that since...I...I think I love you. So, please don't hurt me...please... Current Mood: depressed Current Music: "Goin' To California"-Led Zeppelin (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 14th, 2006
6:15 pm	Oh God... Why do I do this shit to myself? I just don't understand. I should know better by now, but I don't. I don't think I ever will. Every person I've ever been with has screwed me over both emotionally and physically. I can't take getting hurt again. I'm afraid...I'm afraid he's gonna make me fall in love with him and then hurt me like the rest. I don't want another bruise. I can't take it. The scary thing is that I think I'm already in love with him. It sounds so fuckin' cheesy, but it's like one of those "love at first sight" kind of things. He said that he doesn't think he could ever leave me. I want to believe him, but it's so hard. Everyone who's said that ends up beating the living hell outta me later on. Yet, as scared as I am...I can't help wanting to be with him 24/7. And as I write this, my heart hurts like you wouldn't believe since he's not by my side... Current Mood: lonely Current Music: "Hand Of Doom"-Black Sabbath (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, May 12th, 2006
6:05 pm	Skaters I can't fucking believe I'm falling for a skater. What the hell is wrong with me? I didn't come here for a damn love, I came here for...well...it wasn't my choice to come here at all, but that's besides the point. I can't fall for anyone...I can't...but for some reason I find myself looking out the window every five minutes to see if he's skating. Current Mood: confused Current Music: "When The Levee Breaks"-Led Zeppelin (Comment on this)
12:46 pm	The First Entry Well, I started my first day of class...that was a bloody nightmare. I can tell this is going to be a "fun" year. Thank the good Lord it was raining outside. At least I got some joy out of the day. I'll update later. Current Mood: crappy Current Music: "Iron Man"-Black Sabbath (2 Comments |Comment on this)